This kind of pain drives me insane

As I stand in the rain, I am filled with so much pain. The grief and despair will always there.

It’s hard to make it through in everything I do. The ones I love most are six feet under. My heart aches more than the loudest sound of thunder. I want to join my friends buried in the ground. I want to feel that peace of not being around. I can’t deal with this guilt, grief and despair. The hardest part about it is how much I care. If only God would let me go. I could see my friends I no longer know. I pray and pray that he heals my heart. But, it never will heal cause we are apart. I hope they look over me and know that I care. That my life will never be the same without them there. I’m sorry I failed the ones that I love. All I have left is to pray to God above.

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